Green up your house

I find indoor plants very restful. I feel it makes your house look much better. Of course I am too cheap to get a large one, so I have a collection of small, pitiful plants rather than the major green room feature of my dreams, but there are some great garden bargains around at the moment.



At Aldi, 140mm indoor plants are $7.99. You can get (L-R) sago palms (in NSW, Victoria and ACT only), peace lilies, Zanzibar gems and magic beans.

At Bunnings, you can get a 130mm Easy Care Calathea Orbifolia for $8.24. These are quite nice-looking.



It's part of the Easy Care range of indoor plants that are all the same price. I guess it's a lottery which ones you get at various Bunningses.

Bunnings also has 30cm hanging baskets (with liner) for $3.98 and 35cm baskets for $5.36. These would be good if you only have a courtyard or balcony, but would still like some greenery.

And there are 'Grow Your Own' vegetable seedlings for $2.94 (which may include tomatoes, lettuce, capsicums, chilli, beans, peas, carrots, eggplant, sweet corn, silverbeet and zucchini), and 'Flying Start' 70mm perennial plants for $2.97.

Beanbags for peanuts

Everyone loves a beanbag! Seductively comfortable… yet nigh-impossible to get up with any dignity. Reading, listening to music, watching movies, bonging on… beanbags are great for many leisure activities.



Anyway, until 6 February Kmart has what it calls 'beanskins' in red, chocolate brown, purple and black, plus an '80s-looking leopard print, for $19. This doesn't include the beans, which are an additional $12 for 100L.

Even if you feel as if you're too sophisticated for a beanbag, they'd make an excellent gift for a kid or a share-housewarming present for a student about to head to uni.

Who's a pretty boy, then?

These novelty bird-shaped solar garden lights crack me up! Who even decides, "Yes, let's make some lights on sticks to illuminate the path to people's front doors in the dark, but we'll make them in the shapes of birds that don't come out after dark and, in the case of this toucan, are very unlikely to be found in a suburban Australian garden at all?"

They are 66cm high, including the sticks. The springs on which they're mounted make me suspect they might bobble hilariously. I presume that at night, the birds glow from within like those animal-shaped night lights you put in kids' bedrooms. Wouldn't it be funny if instead they had menacing glowing eyes or something.

If you'd like to create an inexplicable tropical atmosphere in your garden – perhaps as a fun decoration for summer parties – why not get these lights? The set of four birds (cockatoo, macaw, rosella and, uh, toucan – is $20 from The Reject Shop until 27 January. Hell, at these prices, you could invest in an entire flock.

Ray says relax

Remember when Ray's Outdoors was called "Ray's Tent City"? These days, rappin' Ray has expanded from camping equipment into home entertaining equipment. And until 3 February, there are some good bargains to be had on summery backyard stuff.

Renaissance 2.7m market umbrellas in coffee or navy are $39 (save $50). I am very interested in this as I have an outdoor table with a hole in the centre, just waiting for a market umbrella.

There's also a variety of hammocks, the cheapest of which is a padded hammock chair for $19. Depicted above is a striped double hammock (weight rated to 180kg); there's also a Mexican-style hammock (a net-style woven hammock in vibrant stripes, weight rated to 150kg). Both are $29 (save, respectively, $10 and $20).

There's also 50% off hammock accessories including chains, pillows, ropes, etc.

If you like industrial-aesthetic metal fans rather than the white plastic sort, there are either high velocity or heavy-duty floor fans for $29 (save $30). I wonder if this is the same sort of fan my brother has in his apartment. Recently my brother's girlfriend demonstrated their fan on its lowest setting and I was blown away by how powerful it was!

Really nice leather couches

Now, usually I only get depressing bogan furniture store catalogues that make me feel sad, but I was pretty impressed by the Bay Leather Republic catalogue. Not that I could ever get a leather couch: a) I can't afford one; b) Graham would scratch it up in no time. But I quite liked the look of the Apartment three-seater in black, which is currently $999, save $500 (other colours are a bit more expensive).



Also, the Copenhagen three-seater for $2399, save $300.

The globe's your oyster

Officeworks also has 20cm world globes on a classic pedestal stand for $9.91. They come in the classic blue as well as black and white, and the countries are highlighted in different colours. I'd like one just for decorating. I've seen some Pinterest stuff in which people make quite striking mobiles out of old globes.



If you want to be a dickhead whose obnoxiously over-styled home is featured on Fuck Your Noguchi Coffee Table, you could also make a massed display of globes in your house.

Manchester… and more!

An outfit called Manchester and More, whose stores are all in outer-suburban bogan hotspots, has these incredibly tasteless doona covers for a mere $34.99 for QB and $39.99 for KB. Imagine the mighty feline power that will be unleashed in one of these beds:



They also have some more tasteful plain quilt cover sets in royal purple, crimson, white, beige, lavender and black for $35.99 DB, $40.50 QB and $49.50 KB.

They also have faux suede cushion covers featuring various kitschy animals: a leopard; a pair of running horses; a tabby kitten miaowing; a lion; a tiger; and wolf. They are $2.99 each, which I think you'll agree is a bargain for the epic effect these would have on your couch or bed.

For some time I have toyed with the idea of making my own puffy '50s organza petticoat out of one of those awful/amazing organza tab top curtains you see around. Well now I can; for only $7.99 a pair they have them in grey, lipstick pink, white, apple green, sky blue and purple.

And fulfilling all my trashy manchester fantasies, they have satin sheet sets in white, lilac, burgundy, beige, lipstick pink, red and gunmetal grey for $19.99 DB, $24.99 QB and $29.99 KB.